Mushroom Kingdom Biology 101
by Dekadeci
Summary: Are Paratroopas that closely related to Koopa Troopas? Does a Toad's lovely colours signal that it is poisonous? You'll find answers to all those questions and more in this biology lesson.
1. Lesson 1: The Shroomkin

Disclaimer: I don't own Nintendo, Mario, Goombas, Toads, Koopa Troopas, U of Goom, the Mushroom Kingdom, and/or the Linnaean taxonomy system.

* * *

**Lesson 1: The Shroomkin**

All right, kids of all species, are you ready to start your lessons? Good, because I'm going to be putting some stuff on the board. You'd better take notes…

Actually, before I put stuff on the board, I'd better tell you what group of species we'd be learning about. Today, we'll learn about what's commonly called the Shroomkin. This consists of two members: Toads and Goombas. I'll write the taxonomy of this order here:

Kingdom: Animalia

Phylum: Chordata

Subphylum: Vertebrata

Class: Mammalia

Order: Mycona

Actually, there are two members from outside the Mushroom Kingdom in this order: Myconids and Funganus. But, since they are not in the Mushroom Kingdom and are not highly studied in here, I won't say much about those.

I'll be writing the rest of the taxonomy on Toads and Goombas right now. Write those notes!

Toad

Family: Myconidae

Genus: Basidomyca

Species: fugu

Goomba

Family: Mycetidae

Genus: Cremini

Species: adamantine

The Toad's genus is Basidomyca because it looks a lot like a mushroom, and those come from a taxonomic group called Basidomy…oh, forget it. I'm not good with fungi. At least Shroomkin aren't fungi. Toads share this genus with Myconids, which look a lot like smaller, naked Toads with mono-coloured caps.

The Toad's species is fugu because it is poisonous, and its poison works in much the same way as the fugu blowfish's: it's in its blood. Luckily, Toads are immune to their own blood, but no other species is totally immune. Spikoopas, Clubbas, and other members of the Deinoidae are partially immune, so they experience nausea, vomiting, and headaches for a month instead of dying within three days like all other species. Oh, and Toad blood is safe to handle, as long as it doesn't contact your tongue or any open cuts or sores. By the way, if the blood gets into your bloodstream by injection or stabbing, you're also doomed.

The Goomba's genus is Cremini because they look like those small brown mushrooms you find in grocery stores. However, a Goomba's flesh is rather tough, and the head is not to be eaten if you don't want to have your stomach scarred by shards of minerals. It is the only member of this genus.

The Goomba's species is adamantine because Goombas have the ability to make their heads nearly diamond-hard (or at least conundrum-hard). Actually, the Mohs scale hardness of a stiffened Goomba head is 9.3. A normal Goomba head's hardness is only 6.1. How do they do that? Goombas have special muscle cells that contain a special fibre that hardens and thickens when it contracts. They also feed on special minerals that are absorbed in their special intestines. These minerals help make up those fibres. You'd be wise not to get in the way of a Goomba's head.

How did the Toad and Goomba evolve these adaptations? Back way before the Lakitu found the Cloudsheep, Toads and Goombas looked very much alike. They also lived in groups called clumpers. They were both commonly eaten by Mangorrhea, Rumarki, and other semi-prehistoric predators. However, the two of them fought off those predators in different ways. Toads burrowed themselves in the ground and disguised themselves as toadstools. They also developed a fatal poison in their blood so whoever tried eating them would not eat them again (and so the toadstool disguise was more plausible). That worked very well against the omnivorous and pack-living Rumarki.

Goombas had a different approach. Though they often stood their ground and behaved like innocent brown mushrooms, they also had a deadly weapon: their heads. If a mushroom-eater or Rumarki got too close, they would jump at the predators and ram them with their rock-hard heads. They often smashed their skulls against the earth after they made their jumps, though. Some ancient Goomba back then inherited the ability to digest hard minerals and integrate them into its muscles. Combining that and its natural head-muscle-contracting abilities, it had a harder and more shatterproof head. That Goomba was more likely to survive a jump at predators, making it more likely to find a mate and have children.

Wrote all that down? Good, because class is dismissed. You won't have more time to write that down. Tomorrow, I'll be doing Koopa Troopas, Paratroopas, and Lakitus. Hope to see you then!


	2. Lesson 2: The Turtle Family

Disclaimer: What? You didn't read the one on the first chapter? Fine, I don't own Nintendo, the Mushroom Kingdom, any of the species that live there, and/or the Linnaean taxonomy system.

* * *

**Lesson 2: The Turtle Family**

Hopefully, you've all gone to my first lesson and learned lots about Toads and Goombas. Today, I'll be teaching you about all the constituents of the Turtle Family. That's right: the Koopa Troopas, Paratroopas, and Lakitus. Here's the taxonomy that leads up to this family:

Kingdom: Animalia

Phylum: Chordata

Subphylum: Vertebrata

Class: Reptilia

Subclass: Anapsida

Order: Testudines

Suborder: Psychira

Family: Sentidae

The other families of Psychira are Deinoidae (of Spikoopas and Clubbas), Coleoptidae (of Buzzy Beetles and Spinies), and Dinosauridae (of Yoshis and Doogans). Also, the Lakitu's precise family is disputed, as some put it in Deinoidae, some put it in a family of its own called Intermeidae, and some (like me) put it in Sentidae.

Here's the taxonomy of the separate members of Sentidae. Write this down!

Koopa Troopa

Genus: Carapaca

Species: chelonida

Paratroopa

Genus: Carapaca

Species: ailes

Lakitu

Genus: Nebulus

Species: cielmouton

Both the Koopa Troopa's and the Paratroopa's genus are called Carapaca because they (obviously) have shells. In Koopa Troopas, that shell is removable. That was evolved through thousands of years because the Sentidae ancestor was constantly pestered by Kroniks, the ancestors of the Buzzars and Craws we know today. That particular ancestor constantly had its shell cracked, its spine broken, and its body paralysed (like many other turtles) whenever the Kroniks dropped them on rocks to get at the flesh. So that particular ancestor evolved a removable shell that didn't contain its ribs to decrease its chances of paralysis. That ancestor survived most of what the Kroniks dropped on them, so it evolved into the Koopa Troopas and Paratroopas we know today.

The Koopa Troopa's species is chelonida because the word "chelonida" is in the same word family as some other word in some other language that means "shell" (I forgot the language). The Koopa Troopa's shell is quite tough for only being made out of protein, though one company has found the secret to making plastic shell prostheses that are even tougher.

The Paratroopa's species is ailes because in French, an aile is a wing. The Paratroopas have evolved feathery wings because they were tired of taking their shells off and being vulnerable after they were targeted by Kroniks. As such, with their wings, they can no longer take their shells off (not that they need to). Unlike Lakitus, Paratroopas can enjoy activities of both the sky and the ground.

The Lakitu's genus is Nebulus because of the cloud they ride on, which is actually a mammal called a Cloudsheep. Lakitus have developed a strong mental bond with the Cloudsheep they sit on so they can direct themselves to anywhere in the sky. Some Lakitus have extended this so far, that they can read the minds of almost anyone.

The Lakitu's species is cielmouton, which means "sky sheep" in various languages. The words "sky sheep" is an approximate translation in English of the Cloudsheep's name in Lakitan. The Cloudsheep stays in the sky because the natural magnetism of the Mushroom Kingdom (and surrounding areas) is slightly south. When a Cloudsheep is born, it ingests enough soil to gain its southward magnetism and thus hover above the ground. (You all remember that like poles repel, right?) With some prodigious electric powers, Cloudsheep can dive down to the ground to eat grass. Lakitus feed their Cloudsheep so their steed will not plunge downwards at inopportune times.

Hopefully you all remember to write this, because class is dismissed. As usu—hey! Where did everyone go? I'd better tell you that I'm going to talk about the Boos, Duplighosts, and others on Monday! Sheesh…I'd better go to their lockers to tell them that.


	3. Lesson 3: The Spirit Kingdom

Disclaimer: Oh, please, let's not repeat it...

* * *

**Lesson 3: The Spirit Kingdom**

I hope you all went to my second lesson on the Koopa Troopas, Paratroopas, and Lakitus. Hey…wait…my attendance list says that Bomberio, Koovan, and Lakisamuel haven't come to this class for the last two weeks! Lakisamuel, you'd better catch up.

Anyway, we are doing the whole Spirit Kingdom today. This includes the Boos, Duplighosts, Podoboos, Shades, and one other surprise member I won't tell you about yet. Here's all the taxonomy that is common to all its members:

Kingdom: Astralia

Yes, that's it. The Podoboos belong to a completely different phylum from the other four members. With that, I'll explain the Podoboos before I explain any of the other ones.

Here's the rest of the Podoboo's taxonomy tree. Write it down!

Podoboo

Phylum: Spirita

Class: Feuria

Order: Pyrona

Family: Ignidae

Genus: Ignis

Species: ignis

The Podoboo's genus and species are both Ignis because their discoverer, Goomfrank, wasn't creative enough to make the genus and species different. Goomfrank also thought that leaving the genus and species the same made it easier for people like you to remember. As for why it is called "Ignis", it is because the Podoboos are eternally aflame. They are made of extremely flammable materials, so they don't last very long. But they can sure create more fires in the process! They also can't last long enough (and don't have enough of a language facility) for scientists to make any certainty that they are sentient.

With that, we'll move on with the rest of that taxonomy tree. Here's what the other three members share in common:

Phylum: Spectrala

No, really, that is all what they share in common. As the Boos and Shades are in a different class from the rest of them, I'll talk about them first.

Here's the rest of those two's taxonomy. Write it down, guys!

Boo

Class: Aera

Order: Deimia

Family: Phobidae

Genus: Invisio

Species: levitato

Shade

Class: Aera

Order: Achluia

Family: Skotaridae

Genus: Skotaros

Species: elementaria

The Boo's genus is called Invisio because they have the ability to become invisible. They do this by changing their constituency. Boos can diffuse and spread their molecules out so they seem to be made of air. However, they still maintain their structural integrity while in this state. With that, if anyone comes too close to a so-called "invisible" Boo, the affected Boo is forced to contract to a normal state. This diffusion ability is also why many Boos can fuse to become one, then still be able to split apart afterwards.

The Shade's genus is called Skotaros because the prefix skoto- means "darkness" in Greek. Shades have the ability to become one with darkness, thus travelling in the shadows. Through this method of locomotion, they can be much faster than they can without using this ability. Unfortunately, a strong flashlight can sometimes stop them in their tracks when they are travelling this way.

The Boo's species is called levitato because they float above they ground. Now, why do they do that? They do it because they are less dense than air. You should have learned from your elementary physics lessons that things that are less dense than fluids float on top of them, right? I hope you all have.

The Shade's species is elementaria because they can be aligned with various elements. Shades of fire, lightning, wind, darkness, and ice are common. Less common types of Shades contain the powers of the elements of water, earth, poison, and even light. The Shades of light are, thankfully, quite rare, as they often cause the detriment of their fellow Shades.

With that, we shall get to the last two members of the Spirit Kingdom. One of them is the Duplighost, and the other is (surprise, surprise) the Puni. Here are their taxonomy trees. Please write them down, or you'll do badly in the exam!

Duplighost

Class: Materiala

Order: Wispia

Family: Transformidae

Genus: Metamorpha

Species: horlorii

Puni

Class: Materiala

Order: Bestia

Family: Borealidae

Genus: Ovophile

Species: ranserii

The Duplighost's genus is Metamorpha because Duplighosts have the ability to shape-shift into anything that is roughly its size. After they take a good look, they can change their colouration and form into that of their victim. Of course, they can change back, and it is quite easy to convince them to do so. It takes strength of mind to assume such an unnatural form, and if you frighten a Duplighost (or create any other strong emotion within them), its emotions can override its mind and it may change back. When they have not transformed, they can jump amazingly high, and they can easily dive down upon an unsuspecting victim.

The Puni's genus is Ovophile because they especially like eggs. They can eat or keep the eggs. They tend to keep them if they are especially beautiful. Whole hoards of eggs have been found in some Punis' village-trees.

Another not-so-well-known fact about the Punis is that they can easily change their size. Although they can only maintain their size change for a few seconds, this ability makes them not to be underestimated. The older a Puni is, the bigger or smaller it can get, and the longer it can maintain that size change. The ease in which they can change their size has made many a taxonomist confused about their classification, so they have only been properly classified now.

The Duplighost's and Puni's species are horlorii and ranserii, respectively, because they were discovered by those two scientists. Horlor T. and Ranser T. co-discovered the two species, so the Duplighost has been named after Horlor and the Puni was named after Ranser. (It would have been too long to name both their species names horlorranserii, anyway.)

And with that, class ends. I hope you wrote all of those down, because you'll need those notes! Tomorrow, I shall talk about the members of the Craw family. Have a good day!


	4. Lesson 4: The Craw Family

Disclaimer: Same old, same old. Unfortunately, I don't own the Craw species, though I partially own the Eagle Craw species. Then again, I don't own the members of the Eagle Craw species (such as Rawk Hawk).

* * *

**Lesson 4: The Craw Family**

Welcome back to class, those of you who have still bothered to attend. Yes, I know the flu is spreading, half of you are absent, and that Koovan still hasn't attended any of our classes yet. But I'll still bother with teaching you!

We are doing what may be a boring topic for you: the Craw family and its members. Yes, I know less than .1 percent of the population of the Mushroom Kingdom consists of Craws, but they are perfect for taxonomy, unlike what I talked about last week. Here's the taxonomy up to the Craw family:

Kingdom: Animalia

Phylum: Chordata

Subphylum: Vertebrata

Class: Aves

Order: Falconiformes

Family: Aquilidae

Now, the Craw family contains three members: the Craw, the Dark Craw, and the Eagle Craw. These three are easily classified, as the Craw and Dark Craw belong to the same genus and the Eagle Craw is in its own genus. Now please write this down!

Craw

Genus: Eyas

Species: hawkus

Dark Craw

Genus: Eyas

Species: nyxem

Eagle Craw

Genus: Aepyrie

Species: orramei

Both the Craw and the Dark Craw have a genus of Eyas because that word means "baby hawk" in Old English (whatever that is). Also, both of those Craws are just like baby hawks compared to the Eagle Craw. The Eagle Craw is at least twice the size of those two Craws.

The Craw's species name is hawkus because it behaves much like a hawk if you remove all the trappings of civilization. Both of them use their keen sight to find their prey. They also swoop down (at least as best as a Craw can swoop) on their prey when they find them. They tend to have the same messy eating style, too.

The Dark Craw's species name is nyxem because Nyx was a goddess of the night in ancient Greek mythology, so the name sounded appropriate. Also, the Dark Craw tends to hunt at night, while the Craw hunts in the day. The Dark Craw has many advantages from hunting in the night. It can see better (or at least better than its prey) and hide in the darkness better. If a Dark Craw tried hiding in the admittedly pale shadows of its homeland in the daytime, it would fail miserably.

The Eagle Craw's genus is Aepyrie because it is a variation of the elephant bird's genus, which is Aepyornis. Whoever named it took the Aepy from Aepyornis and stuck "rie", which means bird in Yoshese (and pesky bird in Toadian), to the end. Seeing as the elephant bird was one of the largest birds in history, this is an apt name for such a big type of Craw.

The Eagle Craw's species is orramei because they were first discovered in the Orramei Plains. They were called the Orramei Plains because orramei means "sunny and flat" in Lakitan, and the Orramei Plains were near Flower Fields and Lakitu Valley. The Lakitus didn't have such great relations with the Eagle Craws, but they were willing to research each other.

Now, you might be thinking that you're learning about a rare and pointless group of species that will never have any application in real life. That's false! For that, I'll now talk about where you may encounter Craws.

Though you can still find all these Craws in their homelands (for the Craw and the Dark Craw, that's the Alternating Forests, and for the Eagle Craw, that's the Orramei Plains), they have long since expanded their bases. You may find Craws and Dark Craws in many of the Mushroom Kingdom's more cosmopolitan cities, such as Mushroom City, Rogueport, and Glitzville. The Craws and Dark Craws of Rogueport can be commonly found with a thief called Ishmael. No, don't complain. Criminals such as they are very common and very tame in Rogueport. Eagle Craws (such as the famous Rawk Hawk) can only be found in Glitzville, Sky City, the Orramei Plains, Cloud Valley, and Lakitu Valley. Apparently, Eagle Craws like the sky more than the other Craws.

And with that, class comes to an end. Please write everything I have said about Craws, because you'll need it! Tomorrow, I shall talk about the Buzzy Beetles and their relatives. Have a good time in your other classes!


	5. Lesson 5: The Beetleshells

Disclaimer: And I'll drone on and on...

Note: I won't talk about Hammer Bros., Koopatrols, Buster Beetles, and guys like that because they are regiments of Bowser's army, not separate species.

Note 2: To answer a reviewer's question, Buzzy Beetles are immune to flame only because they place their bellies near the ground so as to avoid fireballs. The shell is fireproof, but the belly is not. Buster Beetles (a special group of Buzzy Beetles) spend so much time upright as they fling things that they leave their bellies exposed for extended periods of time. They can easily be knocked down with fireballs.

* * *

**Lesson 5: The Beetle-shells**

Welcome back to biology class. Today, you will be learning about Buzzy Beetles and their relatives, which are sometimes collectively called the Beetle-shells. They are the Buzzy Beetles, Spike Tops, Spinies, and their various Para-forms. Here's all the taxonomy they share in common:

Kingdom: Animalia

Phylum: Chordata

Subphylum: Vertebrata

Class: Reptilia

Subclass: Anapsida

Order: Testudines

Suborder: Psychira

Family: Coleoptidae

The Buzzy Beetles and Spike Tops belong in the same genus, while the Spinies only share their family. Here are their separate classifications. Please write them down!

Buzzy Beetle

Genus: Adamant

Species: adamant

Subspecies: adamant

Parabeetle

Genus: Adamant

Species: adamant

Subspecies: pteryx

Spike Top

Genus: Adamant

Species: cera

Subspecies: adamant

Para-Spike Top

Genus: Adamant

Species: cera

Subspecies: pteryx

Spiny

Genus: Cerasphere

Species: repamatoku

The Buzzy Beetles' and the Spike Tops' genera are all Adamant because of their extremely hard and inflexible shells. The word adamant is an adjective meaning extremely hard, and those shells fit the description. The Spiny's shell, meanwhile, is flexible and can roll into a ball.

The Buzzy Beetles and Spike Tops have a small system of naming for their species and subspecies. All Buzzy Beetles have a species of adamant (because their ones who named them were lazy), and all Spike Tops have a species of cera (as their shells are topped with a large, hard horn). All the normal such members of the genus Adamant have a subspecies of adamant (again, because of laziness), and all the Para-forms have pteryx as a subspecies (because that's Greek for wing).

The Spiny's a different story altogether. Its genus is Cerasphere because that means "horn ball", and Spinies can roll themselves up into balls of spikes. These balls are also known as Spiny Eggs. Those are not eggs: they are actually the rolled-up forms. The things that Spinies lay are called eggs, quite simply.

The Spiny's species is repamatoku because that is the Lakitan word for "throwing ball", and Lakitus are highly trained in throwing Spinies. Indeed, they have been with each other for so long that Cloudsheep (what Lakitus ride on) have developed a hollow in their backs for Lakitus and Spinies. By the way, Cloudsheep aren't easily pierced by Spiny spikes.

And with that, class is dismissed. Please write down everything that I've told you, as you'll need it for midterms! Yes, I know they're months away, but it doesn't hurt to prepare. Next day, I will talk about the various types of Piranha Plants. Have a great day with your other teachers!


End file.
